My Foundation Story | Nancy Gilette

Not only did this change my life, but it changed the lives of people around me. I want to share my story of how my perspective changed and what I know to be true.

For the past 20 years, I've dedicated my life to Autism-related work - from helping on the front lines to being Executive Director. However, even with this successful career path, something inside me still felt... unfinished. In 2019 that feeling was forever changed when tragedy struck. After a brief but epic battle against cancer on Feb 12th of last year, my beloved mother passed away unexpectedly just four weeks after diagnosis. When I awoke for the morning following her death and placed both feet down on the ground, thinking surely it'd shake or buckle in response. But no; nothing had changed as if absolutely nothing happened, yet everything had simultaneously shifted.. How can everyone go about their day like normal while she's gone?!  My world will never be quite the same again without her here by my side -but what an unforgettable impact she left behind!

After saying goodbye to my beloved mother, I felt an emptiness that would never be filled. Amidst the flurry of condolences and warm embraces at her funeral, many questions crowded into my mind - Who am I? What is life's purpose? How can anyone truly understand what matters most when our time here ends so quickly? These ponderings stayed with me long after everyone else had moved on.

My mom escaped hardship in her native Portugal, seeking a new life of abundance and fulfillment. Canada represented the promise of success to her—a sparkly beacon towards everything she dreamed was possible. So she set out on an ambitious journey that today can be looked back upon with awe: leaving behind all that is known for the unknown, seizing opportunity wherever it may appear!

Despite all of the success she achieved in life, like having kids, being self-employed, and accumulating wealth - her achievements were not enough. Continually operating with a “never enough” mindset meant no matter how far she'd come or what was in front of her – it never felt sufficient: more money needed to be acquired, freedom had yet to be freed up; there wasn't that pretty perfect house…the list went on and on.

Growing up with the mentality that there was never enough created a paradigm of dissatisfaction no matter how successful we were. When my mother passed away, I decided to make it my mission not just to survive life but to thrive through abundance and figure out what "enough" should mean rather than be dictated by societal norms. Life is too short to live comparing ourselves or to strive endlessly; an attitude of contentment can lead us on paths worth living!

Investing in myself was a crucial step toward further personal and professional growth. Through my work with the Life Coach, I realized how many negative beliefs were deeply ingrained within me - ranging from feelings of not being 'smart enough to not feeling attractive or skinny enough. But this coaching process also highlighted something else. These limiting thoughts had become an internalized prison, and it became evident why they still held so much power over me after all these years!

Working with the Special Needs population has always been close to my heart - I am passionate about supporting those whose special circumstances can make them feel like they are not enough. As a child, I observed how heartbreaking it was for parents when their little one couldn't fit in and do what others did; as an adult, I faced countless meetings evaluating strategies so these wonderful children could be successful despite any perceived "lack.” The word 'Autism' does not have to define someone's life or convey that something is lacking - if embraced and understood, we can create more fulfilling lives for everyone affected.

It can be challenging to feel like we measure up when so much of society is based on the concept that "not enough" isn't good enough. As someone who has experienced this damaging perspective, I understand how it affects everyday life and contributes to common mental health issues in North America. But instead of thinking, “I’m not enough," let's recognize our worthiness! Everyone is capable and valuable - regardless if they fit into somebody else's definition or idea of 'enough.' So let us take a moment right now to encourage ourselves with renewed confidence – because YOU ARE ENOUGH!

Are you looking for a way to find peace and joy in your life? Shifting from viewing success through societal measures, such as grades and accomplishments, to seeing yourself and your child as enough can drastically improve family relationships. It’s time to start believing that what we are told isn't necessarily our measure of worth – instead, honoring one's unique humanity should be held highest regard. To do this: say ‘myself & my children are/are enough'; take responsibility for how you experience this world; raise kids with love, kindness & respect; strive towards mutual quality-of-life goals - not just yours but those belonging close by too!

As you trust your intuition and seek different solutions, the future for yourself and your child can become brighter. Through my mission, I strive to guide parents of children with autism on how best to empower them by honoring their uniqueness and finding strategies that allow learning in a way suitable for everyone's life journey.

Feeling excited about your journey of parenting an Autistic child? Join me in sharing my experiences and learnings. With this unique approach, we can write a new story for Autism! Let's get started together right now!