Rolling With It: 6 Ways To Help Turn Life's Unexpected Moments into Learning Moments (for those on the Autism Spectrum and Beyond)

Life has a funny way of throwing us curveballs when we least expect it. Last week, my husband lost his job, and while it could've been a moment of sheer panic (which I wanted to!), we decided to make mindful choice to turn it into a learning experience for the whole family.

Let's dive into how this unexpected turn of events became an mindful journey with a different perspective with utilizing Autism strategies on how to handle unexpected change and uncertainty.

1.  Staying Regulated

As the saying goes, when life throws you lemons, it's all about staying regulated and making lemonade! Similar to those on the autism spectrum who face daily obstacles to sustain regulation, such as an unexpected change.  In this circumstance this unexpected change i meant my husband and I both had to work extra hard (to not freak out and go into crisis mode) to keep ourselves regulated.  Emotional regulation is HUGE, whether you're dealing with a job loss or and ASD brain navigating social situations. For my us adults this meant taking a deep breath, checking in with ourselves, talking things through calmly, and reminding ourselves that we've got this. We can get through this.

Developing emotional regulation skills is ESSENTIAL--Why-- cause a regulated brain is a brain that can make intentional choices on how to respond. So, instead of freaking out with a "holy crap, what now?" we took a deep breath and got to work to focus on the big picture.

Being involved with ASD youth we are constantly implementing strategies implementing strategies to manage stress and emotions. This can look like deep breathing, utilizing sensory supports, or good old-fashioned talking it out. 

2. Slowing down: The Comfort Zone For Feeling Calm in our bodies 

 Let's be honest—most of us love a good routine, and a calm environment. 

With this surprising, and unexpected news, we knew we had to handle it intentionally.  So our children wouldn't increase their anxiety and fear of the "what if's" . We made sure to keep things as predictable as possible: calm environment, transitions supports visuals to support their response to the unexpected news mindfully, and ensuring our kids felt safe and supported. 

I have learn that the feeling of safety is creating an environment to support everyone feel secure. When changes happen (as they inevitably do), it's all about supporting the transition process (transitions are HUGE!). Whether it's a new job, or job loss, or a new daily schedule, taking it one step at a time makes all the difference.

3. Talking Without Words: The Power of Non-Verbal Communication

 Communication isn't just about what we say; it's also about how we say it. During our family discussions, we made sure to keep our tone calm and our body language reassuring. It was all about setting up the environment. As parents, we need to try to exude calm energy, even when we didn't have all the answers. 

Our energy is super important when communicating with individuals on the autism spectrum, too. Non-verbal cues can be just as powerful as words, and staying mindful of our tone and body language helps create a calm and supportive environment.

4. From Choas to Calm: Teachable Moments

Instead of spiralling into a crisis mindset, we decided to turn this situation into a learning opportunity. We talked with our children about how to handle unexpected changes and how we can shift our perspective! It was a great way to teach our kids (and remind ourselves) that life IS unpredictable. We can dwell on the worries and negatives or we can roll with changes and find the opportunities in the unknown.

In the world of autism support, turning everyday challenges into teachable moments is a powerful tool with intentions. It helps individuals develop NECESSARY life skills, resilience, and problem-solving abilities. So, while we navigated our crisis, we were also showing our kids that every challenge is an opportunity to learn something new – it's about how you respond!

5. Using RDI Principles: Our Superpower

RDI (Relationship Development Intervention) has been my superpower throughout this journey. I believe in creating a quality of life. The RDI process reminds me to not operate in crisis mindset, and responding intentionally will support sustaining grounded.  The strategies we've learned through RDI have helped us stay grounded and focused on what really matters—our family's quality of life.

6. Increase Personal Supports and Self-Care

During this whole experience as we are unsure of the future IS stressful and my mind starts thinking of all the Doom and gloom.. which as results makes me snappy, cranky, and less patient.  I need to increase the little things that keep me grounded (personal supports). I have leaned into sensory supports, like soothing scents and comforting hugs, slowing down, reducing expectations to help everyone stay regulated, added visuals, practicing effective communication etc.

Ill this takes a lot of mental work, so it's essential that I practice self care—because I need to sustain regulation. A little extra art time or a walk in nature is all what I need to reset.  I need it, so I ask for it.  I make sure that I keep open communication to what my needs are too. 

I need to keep myself regulated to keep my children regulated.  So I don't lose my shit, due to my own stuff/stress and not taking it out on the kids.   

What's Next? Who knows... and I am ok. 

As we look ahead, we're genuinely excited about the possibilities. The future might be uncertain, but that uncertainty opens the doors to various options. Whether it's finding a new job, discovering new opportunities, or just embracing the unexpected, we're ready! .

Sure, some might call this perspective overly positive or even naive. But through RDI, I've learned that the true goal in life is achieving Quality of Life.

Quality means savouring joy, building confidence, and constantly exploring. This isn't just a nice idea; it's a powerful approach that helps us create a fulfilling life for our family and ourselves as individuals.

Choosing to see challenges as opportunities isn't just about being positive; it's about being proactive and intentional in shaping our reality. By focusing on the resilience, we equip ourselves to navigate whatever comes our way. This mindset isn't about ignoring the difficulties—it's about acknowledging them and choosing to find the opportunities. 

So, here's to embracing life's ups and downs, choosing Calm instead of Chaos. Life is full of surprises, and with the right mindset and intentional strategies, we can turn challenges into a learning experience.  I want to face the future with confidence, a sense of wonder, knowing that we're capable of creating our best life, no matter what comes our way-- thank you RDI for teaching me a process that helps create me and my family's 'quality of life'.